PaigeDot

The Fourth

So I guess I'll update. Don't get used to it.

The Fourth of July is absolutely without a friggin' doubt my favorite holiday. And somehow, I always end up working it. But no worries; job hosts a fireworks display for the lonely peasants (i.e. the people who aren't those I wait on regulary...aka, members)

My boss could have been kind and let me serve members Cosmos and Bud Light, but no, he made me work the concession for the peasants. (Two years in a row now)

Alright, so no big deal. I did it last year by myself. However, this year he stuck me with two people who unfortuneatly lack personalities. Like seriously, neither said more than two words all night. Four hundred snow cones later for a gaggle of citizens who mysteriously lack teeth and bars of soap, Biter came over to help manage the unruly crowd of six year olds wanting glow necklaces.

As the fireworks started, Biter, myself, and no-personalities one and two started to clean up. Biter had to beg the peasants to move out of the way of our golf cart, but trust me, he had no qualms about running them down. (I wonder how many people a year die via golf cart accident. Somebody look this up; I'm too lazy)

After the cart was loaded to maximum capacity, Biter admitted he had never driven a golf cart before, nor was he familiar with the course. Of course, I know this will lead to pure entertainment.

Sweet heaven, did it.

After dropping off the first load, we took off to grab the garbage cans we weren't able to fit before. Right as we pulled out of the basement, a massive thunderstorm hit. I'm talking golf ball sized raindrops and crazy lightning. As I'm freaking out about being hit by lightning, Biter's doing his best not to get the cart stuck in sand pits while avoiding the perfectly manicured greens. (Think Luke and Bo Duke in a golf cart instead of the General Lee)

As we returned, soaking wet, we realized that one of the garbage cans was missing. And this made us break down in laughter in the basement. Our boss just looked at us as we rolled around on the floor giggling.

And then he said the magic words: "Open bar."

Holy hell, this was pure ecstasy. Of course we ordered the best liquor accompanied by a plethora of shots and beers. After about a half hour in, very well inebriated, we (and by we, I now mean half of the legal age wait staff) decided to play in the rain. I managed to roll down a hill onto a green; ClosetDrunk ran into a pond and then the sandtrap; and Boss (now the best boss EVA) brought us more shots while howling at our complete retardedness.

Of course, I went to other job drunk the next morning.

And jebus, somebody just set off a firework in my front yard. Excuse me.

posted by Paige @ 2:10 AM